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[TOEFL Prep.]
The samples below have been selected from the writing produced thus far. Please read each text and focus on the highlights presented.
Sample 1:
In this set of materials, the reading passage
discusses some characteristics of human memory, and the listening passage add one hypothesis that human memory goes through mature process.
discusses some characteristics of human memory, and the listening passage add one hypothesis that human memory goes through mature process.
According to the reading passage all people pass through a amnesia in some part of their lives. This kind of amnesia occurs mainly in the first years of human life, which is mainly concerned between three to five years. In this period most of all children are learning too many things, so it is hard to absorb this quantity of information. In 1805 Freud noted this interesting aspect of memory, which he referred as childhood amnesia.
In the listening passage, the professor's lecture gives extra points of views to support and understand the childhood amnesia. The first aspect is the children brain store the information in a randomly in the brain. By this way, it is difficult in adult life remember the random information stored at the first years. The second aspect is that, the hippo campus passes by a mature development. The adults store information in a organized way in their brains, which is different from childhood first years. The professor concludes that, these aspects could be the main causes of childhood amnesia.
- In bold: Standard format and outline of a response.
- Underlined: Connecting words/phrases used to improve flow of ideas and organization.
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Sample 2:
In this set of materialS, the reading passage discuss(s/v) about the childhood amnesia and the listening passage is about the difference of(ww) child and adult's memory(?).
According to the notice(ww), amnesia is a king(ww) of experience that all people have in their life. It is something that happens in the first few years of life, especially from the first three to five years of a child(rw) as Freud first noted (1805) when he called it as childhood amnesia(punctuation must be improved here). After(ww :since) Freud, many researches(?) have tried to know more about it(ww :this) and they found(vt) that people can not remember things from their first years of lives(ww). Even though the people say that they remember thing(pl.) from their childhood they do not remember wheter(sp) the remembered thing really happened.
The causes of this kind of amnesia, according to the listening passage(?) are hypotheses(rw); as a general explanation the man(rw) said that a child with few years(rw)
can not organize or record a information(rw) as an adult can. Another way to explain it(:this) is when we talk about a organic problem located in the hippo(rw).
can not organize or record a information(rw) as an adult can. Another way to explain it(:this) is when we talk about a organic problem located in the hippo(rw).
In sum up(rw), both of the answers are not concluded(rw), but the researchers are sure that it happens with every human being during this childhood.
- (rw): Some passages should be re-written for clarity, sentence structure, or L1 influence.
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Sample 3: Various Passages
According to the reading , in our life are a part that are marked for a memory less. That part starts at first years of life and goes until we have tree to Five years. This period is called childhood amnesia. The studies about it are hard to do, because you have influence of the family and does not have the certain response from the child who is the studied.
According to the reading passage, it is exists any kind of the amnesia that to do the most people to forget the childhood experiences. Freud was who discover this aspect of the human memory in 1805 and in fact, the people not remember itself anything with the age since three to five years.
Perhaps, because this immature part of child's brain and their functions related with the memory not is possible that we remember events occurred in the first few years of life.
- (rw): The above passages are often quite difficult to understand and should be re-written for clarity.
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Suggested Grammar Practice:
Use of articles: a / an / the / -
Choice of words: another / other / others
Passive Voice: Various verb tenses(form).
Suggested Vocabulary Practice:
Reporting verbs: Say x Tell (claim, state, suggest, advise, reassure, convince, etc.)
http://esl.about.com/library/grammar/blgr_reportingverbs.htm
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